(Shades of V. Starrett's "221B - March 1942")

                                  - - - 

Here dwelled together, June and Stan.

June's memory and spirit provide a presence that will never die.

How very near June seems, yet so very far.

That age before the world went all awry.

The laughter of the holiday joys can still be heard -  

For all whose ears are attuned to catch the distant time.

America is still America with all our fears.

For only those things the heart believes are true.

As the night descends on Gardena Lane - 

The setting sun bathes the hillside in a golden glow.

To the nostalgic mind, June's voice, softly -

In awe can still be heard:  "Isn't it so beautiful."

A lonely jogger strains against the hill.

Here, though the world explode - these two survive.

The year is always nineteen ninety five.

          Stan - July 4th 2006

     Notes: On July 4th, 2006 I was sitting alone and thinking of June and what had happened to her and our life together. While Independence Day is normally a happy day for June and I, this day was a very sad one. June in Alzheimer's late stages, had just experienced her third seizure that morning and this event left me feeling emotionally down and depressed. I thought of how the Sherlock Holmes fans constructed an imaginary world where the year was always 1895. It was a refuge to temporarily escape the present day stresses of life. Vincent Starrett put it all in a poem (1942) that inspired me to try to write my own using his ideas. (Obviously I am no poet.) At the time I was reminiscing about June in one of our old favorite spots at the Hotel Sofitel. That day it became my refuge. June and I always sat in the rather spacious lobby at a small table with a basket of French bread, a cheese and fruit plate and a glass of our favorite wine, white Zinfandel. "People watching" was also one of our favorite pastimes. June would always finish the day by stopping in the small French oriented  lobby gift shop, where some cards were sure to be purchased. A number of  New Year's Eves and New Year's days were spent at the Sofitel. While the Sofitel is not a direct part of the poem, it was the key that started the thought processes that took me into another time.

Why the year 1995 - It was a great year in which the word "Alzheimer's" was never a part of our vocabulary. There was no 9/11 mentality loose in our world. Although we did not go to London that year, we did have a grand travel time. We spent a February week at Seattle, a June week in San Diego and a July week in Costa Mesa, California. That fall in September we had a fun week in Alexandria, MN. We later hosted the Holidays at 6025 as was our custom for many  years. It was a year in which the smile that would light up June's entire face was ever present. The setting is also exactly one hundred years later than the original "221b"(Baker Street) by Starrett.

Poems are either rhyming or non rhyming. This is a combination of both because I am really not a poet. I am sure that when you read the above effort on my part you will either be puzzled, by it, amused by it, or perhaps you will be one of those who will find understanding in what I am trying to express. 

I have heard June comment on so many  occasions as we sat together in the kitchen in the late afternoon, looking down across the lawn and the hillside - "Isn't it so beautiful." Even as she later struggled with Alzheimer's, she appreciated God's beauty when I seemed to be blind or overlooked it.

            Photo Notes: This 2002 picture of 6025 Gardena Lane shows several major home improvements. Most of the improvements were made during the time period following June's diagnosis in January of 1998 and through the year 2002. Permanent seamless stainless steel siding replaced the original wood siding. Concrete steps from the house to the mailbox were installed. Wrought iron railings were placed along the north side of the steps. An automatic underground irrigation watering system was installed. The driveway had been replaced. A new roof was also installed. Initially I bought into the myth that Alzheimer's was basically a memory disease. I understood that with patience, understanding and some adjustments, I would be able to take care of June in our home for her lifetime. I was preparing the home for June and my so called "Golden Years." It was later that I came to understand the cruel scope of Alzheimer's disease. In reality June's brain was slowly dying and the short term memory (later long term) were only the beginning symptoms of this terrible disease. As the brain slowly died, it would began to shut down the body functions (walking, talking, eating etc.) until her proper care would be far beyond what I could manage for her alone in our home...On 16 March 2005, June was placed in an Alzheimer's care facility. On 23 October 2008, June passed away from complications of this disease. June was and will always be, the love and light of my life. June's funeral notice as printed in the Minneapolis Star Tribune, can be seen by on this website by clicking the following link:  

June's Star-Tribune Funeral Notice. 

     Christmas 2008  Update:  After 10 years, Christmas has returned at last to 6025 Gardena Lane. At the request of our granddaughter Emily, Christmas returned to 6025 Gardena Lane. I originally had mixed feelings when Emily requested that we again have an old time Christmas like those in her memory as a small girl. Although I am a sentimentalist and hearken to the thought that "All Hearts Come Home for Christmas", with June gone it all seemed so futile.  (God had prepared a place for June and carried her to a heavenly home on Thursday October 23rd, 2008.) I should not have worried as it all worked out far better than I imagined it would.

A dozen of the children and grandchildren assembled at 6025 Gardena Lane for a joyful evening in honor of June. This was the first Christmas celebrated at 6025 Gardena Lane since 1999. It was also the first time that the Christmas Tree has been lighted on Christmas Eve since 2004.

The Christmas Tree has remained decorated and up continuously since June last arranged it all for the Christmas of 2000. That was the last year before Alzheimer's started taking control of June's life. (Our daughter Julie had taken over the hosting of Christmas Eve for the family for several years in her home. Circa 1999. The family central gatherings stopped the year June left 6025 Gardena Lane to be cared for in a nursing facility - 2005.) I never turned the tree lights on again for Christmas after 2004. The tree was never been taken down nor the decorations or lights removed. The living room where it is located is also an unusual room - there is no dust - every other room in the house has abundance of dust but not this room. The tree and decorations never appear to need dusting. 

     Photo Note: The framed  picture below is presently on the north wall of the Living Room, opposite the fireplace in a commanding 27" x 37" size. This is June at 6025 Gardena Lane during Christmas December 1996 - this was the year before the  December of 1997 that June went through her testing and subsequently was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a month later in January 1998.                                                                          

The living room was June's favorite room. All of her favorite arrangements were in this room. The Clavinova that she loved and played was at that time in this room. The gas fireplace that June saved the money for and paid to install, is still providing warmth, cheer and a bright glow. It had not been turned on since June left 6025 Gardena. 

Two large pictures (27" x 37") of June dominate the north wall. The pictures were taken at a photographic angle such that no matter where in the room an individual may be standing, June always appears to be looking directly at the individual.

The only sad note to the evening was of course the absence of June who was always the centerpiece of the celebrations. It was also sad in that June could not enjoy the company of and meet her two new great grandchildren Owen and Katrina. I am sure that June was present in spirit and was happy to see what was happening once again in the home she loved so much. Little Katrina, less than a year old, was a point of brightness on this Christmas Eve with her good humor, smiles and energy, a loving reflection of her great grandmother June.

The Christmas tree and decorations for 2008  were the same ones that June arranged in the year 2000. This tree and the decorations have been up continuously (all year round) since Christmas time in 2000. It is my intention that this tree and its decorations shall remain up in memory of June as long as I am alive.  (See picture below of Christmas 2000.)

Everyone arrived between 5:30 and 6:00 PM and by 9:30 PM all was quiet again at 6025 Gardena Lane as the last guest departed.

Even the weather cooperated with a more pleasant Christmas Eve temperature and an abatement in the snow. Christmas Day dawned with bright sunshine and a beautiful day.

Pastor Harley's sermon the next morning on Christmas Day at Redeemer Lutheran was:

                                                                              "Be Not Afraid."

                                                            The Angels message to the Shepherds -

                                                                               (Luke 2:10 KJV)

                                                            I should have heard this message earlier!

      2009 Note: We had a repeat performance for Christmas Eve 2009. We again had 12 guests for the evening. Included was June's nurse (Carolyn) who was on duty the afternoon before June passed away. It was a very nice evening with good attendance in spite of the area being hit with the worst snow storm in two seasons.

     Photo Note: Picture below is Christmas time in 2000 at 6025 Gardena Lane. June is sitting in front of Christmas tree with my Mother Ellen (Nedland) Silbaugh sitting in the chair. This is the last tree that June decorated before Alzheimer's  took over her life. This tree decorated by June, has remained up continuously all year round since this Christmas in 2000.  Both June and my mother Ellen have since passed on as victims of Alzheimer's.)

A Suggestion for Readers: For greater detail on June's life with Alzheimer's, please click on the following links:

 "June K. Berg's Journey into Alzheimer's"

June's obituary is found on the same blue navigation strip, under the tab "In Memoriam" on the drop down menu or click on this link:

"June K. (Rolstad) Berg - In Memoriam". 

For the memoriam page on my mother Ellen F. (Nedland) Silbaugh, click on the below link:

"Ellen F. (Nedland) Silbaugh - In Memoriam"