My Mother - Ellen F. (Nedland) Silbaugh

God took you to heaven on October 21st 2007. You had struggled for years with Alzheimer’s dementia disease.

You were a Pioneer Barron County, Wisconsin resident for all of your almost 100 year life. You were born in December 1908 on a dairy and an early day tobacco farm on the Yellow River just north of Barron. You were the daughter of immigrant parents. Your father Gabriel Nedland came to America from Flekkefjord, Norway while your mother Annie came from Grabbestad, Sweden.  You were a little girl during WWI and a young lady in the "Great Depression" Years.

When you left us at 98 years, you had outlived three husbands. I was born during the height of the "Great Depression" when you were a young lady of 19. As my childhood progressed into high school, WWII was just starting and it brought an end to the depression.

Those early depression years were tough years for you. I never met my biological father (Royce) who chose to desert his duties as husband and father before I was born. You went through the pains of my childbirth alone.

My stepfather (Percy) during the grade school years was an alcoholic and a constant challenge to your ability to run a home. I remember the time when you had saved a little money which he found and quickly "blew" it in a single night of drinking. He returned home in the early morning hours, with no money and falling down drunk. This loss was a terrible blow to you. Because of his drinking and heavy smoking he suffered an early death due to cancer leaving you alone to handle the farm. At the time of his death I had just finished grade school.

It was then that you met Tom, a kindly hard working man who finally gave you the good life you deserved.

In those early years of my life we were the poor family in the rural neighborhood in which we lived. Nevertheless; you were able to give me a normal childhood. You encouraged reading and it became my favorite pastime. You had a big garden and a few apple trees and you did a lot of home canning. Of course the old swimming hole and the old fishing hole did not cost money. Your objectives were to put food on the table and buy warm clothes for winter. Doctors were not affordable so you took care of sickness, aches and pains with your home remedies.

I still don’t know how you managed to buy me the two prized possessions of my early life. A Daisy air rifle for my 10th birthday and later a bike for my 12th birthday. Even though the bike was a used bike that you bought from Montgomery Wards in Rice Lake, it certainly gave me a lot of pleasure and made me feel on par with most of my friends.

It must have taken a lot of budget juggling from the income of a small 20 acre 5 cow dairy farm. Our neighbors all ran farms of 80-120 acres with 10-15 milk cows. You had no horses or machinery to work the fields. The neighbors did it for you in exchange for labor. Most months you did little more than break even.

I also recall the year in which the December income for the milk sold to the Rice Lake Creamery was only one dollar. Yet, to me, that Christmas was as nice as any other year. Singing the old Christmas Hymns was free and has provided a lifelong traditional joy and pleasure.

There was no electricity or refrigeration. Cooking and heating was done by wood stoves. Light was from a kerosene lamp. The outside unheated toilet was enough to make a Spartan sob on sub zero winter days.

Friends presented you with a farm dog as a gift and it soon became my dog. He was a combination collie and Shepard and being an only child, he became my buddy. Dog food was not affordable but he got along just fine on scraps and left over's from the family meals. Some of my most pleasant times were roaming the woodlands with my dog and my trusty air rifle.

When I look back at those times, I marvel at how much you accomplished with so little. I know that you made many sacrifices to give me a good life. You were the heart and strength of the family. You effectively shielded me from the hardships of the great depression and you did it alone. You did it all with out any complaint, with a cheerful disposition and a good sense of humor. You always set a good example. You believed in God, honesty, and moral values coupled with a strong work ethic. You saw to it that I had my confirmation instruction in a small Lutheran Church. The only childhood memories that I can remember were those of happy years and happy times. You were my moral compass in those early years. Whatever have been my life’s accomplishments, I owe much of it to you. My failures are my own.

Your grandchildren also have happy memories of you. Let me recount a few:

Julie remembers - "I think of the funny faces you used to make - the fun times going fishing on your lake - how exciting it was when you came to visit on Christmas with the car trunk loaded with Christmas of gifts - as a kid it seemed like so much - the peanut cans full of fudge - the big tight hugs and kisses on the cheek - your sense of humor to the end."

Susan remembers - "One of my favorite memories of you would be when you lived in the house on the lake.  When I was very young, you would take me down the dirt road that you lived off of and we would look for turtles. When we found them, we would put them in a large coffee can and bring them back to the house. Later, it was fishing on the lake.  Still like to fish now when I get the chance."

David remembers - "my fondest memory was talking with you on a later in life birthday, speaking to you of all of the things you must have experienced during your lifetime.  From the flapper era, the great depression, and two big wars. You saw and experienced a lot. I don't think you ever forgot life's experiences. You lived through difficult times but had a good life too; evident in your smile and optimistic outlook."

David and Dan remembered - "your house on the lake. Lots of wild strawberries on the dirt road to the house...we would pick them and we would bring them to you. You would wash them, help us take the green tops off and we would eat them either with cream and sugar or on breakfast cereal."

Dan remembers - "You were inquisitive, had a positive attitude, great sense of humor,  and genuinely accepted and was happy with life no matter if you were married, living alone or in a nursing home...you were always grateful for visits and never judgmental about length of time between visits."

 
THANK YOU MOTHER - THANK YOU GRANDMA!

Stan and the Grandchildren

(Originally Published in the Barron News-Shield, Weekly Edition 7 May 2008 for Mother’s Day, Sunday May 11th, 2008. - Republished for Mother's Day 2009. Revised and updated with Grandchildren's memories for publication on Mother's Day 2010.)